Informed Creative Leaders

 I've been without my internet for three days and finally got it back this afternoon. I felt lost not being able to write my blogs. So I played Solitaire and Pin Ball. I'm not sure this helped with my creativity, but it was a good distraction from my frustration.

 My technical problem was a simple matter of not knowing one of the cables to my router had been accidentally disconnected, and then I re-connected it, but didn't do this correctly.

 Thank goodness for computer technicians. Sometimes as artists we can feel like technophobes and just don't 'get' technology, and this can be frustrating, which I think is a good thing really. When we come up against a technological problem as a creative person, most of us see this as a creative challenge to solve.

 There may just as well, be technologists that feel they don't 'get' art. This got me thinking about art and technology. There are those of us creative types that believe, and know that there is a complimentary balance between art and technology. The kind of interdependent balance that Robert Persig talks about in his book Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.


I found this video of John Maeda's TED talk about how art, technology, and design inform creative leaders to be very insightful.
To me creativity is not so much about the finding the answers to our questions, but more about the questions we ask along the way, during the creative process.

Art Appreciation - Humble Pie

I called my good friend tonight around 7:30 p.m. I told her about a situation that had taken place earlier today. I then said, I was going to have a late supper, and that wasn't really hungry, because I'm eaten a lot of humble pie. We both laughed, but what I was talking about was serious business.

Later in the afternoon I dropped into a friends, who had done me a very big favour. We talked about this and he relayed in so many words he was hurt, because I hadn't thanked him. My generous friend, was right I'd over looked thanking him, and now I really felt like shit. It wasn't my intention to not thank him, but as they say, 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions.' I apologized profusely. I asked if he would accept my apology. He said yes he did. But as I left, walking back to my car, with my head hung low, it just didn't feel right. I felt horrible, even though he'd accepted my apology.

So many times I think for most of us, it is easy to focus on how we feel unappreciated and maybe we are, but how often do we tell  or show others how much they are appreciated. Sounds easy enough, but seems like humans find it a hard thing to do, and easy to overlook or forget about. Not a good default!

On the way back home, I thought I have to give him some art. Something that kind of hurts to give because it is cherished. I just wanted to try and make it right again between us by showing generousity, in the same way it was shown to me. When I got back home, I removed one of my paintings from the wall, in my studio, that was from a series I'd done a few years back. I am quite attached to as it has a lot of personal meaning to me.

I then immediately headed back over to his house again to present him with my painting. I was certain that he would accept and it was going to be his, and this would make us both feel better. He'd already had one of my paintings, and he is a great lover of art. But he refused to take the painting I was offering him! I pleaded and practically begged him. I wanted him to know that I really appreciated what he did, and for all that he does to help people in our community. Nope, he was not going to take it. He'd made it clear in making the the point, that all he'd wanted was a thank you , in others words to feel appreciated. He said he wasn't looking to be given anything, and stated that I should be selling my art work, not giving it away, and that I shouldn't have to do this. He said he wasn't going to take my art work when he thought I could sell it. I tried to explain that a wanted to give it too him, and it wasn't because I felt I had to give it to him. He became even more adamant, and I could see he was not going to accept this painting. What was I going to do now?

Most artists have a hard time selling their art. When you can't give it away, well that's not such a good feeling. However, under these circumstances, though my good friend wouldn't accept my painting as a gift of appreciation, he knew, because I'd made the offer that my apology and appreciation was indeed sincere, and heartfelt. This seemed to make all the difference to both of us. It was a beautiful feeling.
We both went away feeling better than any material gift would ever make us feel. I'd say my friend and I both received two gifts, that of appreciation, and especially the most precious gift, was that of friendship. 

 Besides the lesson of humility, I learned another important lesson from my friend. Never assume that someone knows you appreciate them, tell them, show them. Never assume someone knows you are sorry, tell them, show them. Appreciation comes in all forms, and it comes in the form of a simple word, that should never be overlooked. A heartfelt, thank you.

Minto Mystery Miners

Minto Coal Mine

This is a rare actual film footage of an unknown coal miner in the Minto coal mine in 1954. 

My family would drive from Ontario to Nova Scotia every Summer to visit my mother's relatives, and my father's only brother and his family. We'd pass through Minto, New Brunswick, where my father's family all were from. Great grandfather Konrad Meyers and my great grandmother Amelia Kindel, like so many who first settled in Minto New Brunswick, when they arrived in Canada from the old country, Poland, Germany, and Belgium, came from a coal mining background, and my family was no different. Minto, New Brunswick being a coal mining town, was a reason to settle here, along with land grants, and a promise of a better life.

My father was estranged from most of his family, due to alcoholism, and abuse. Needless to say, my father had next to no relationship with the home, where he grew up, as there was too much heartache, and bad memories for him. He began working in the coal mine at the tender age of twelve years of age, which was not uncommon, as children were small enough to get into the small tunnels of the mine, and his family needed the money. It is very hard to imagine, but I am so grateful, and happy, that he was able to escape the 'rat holes' in order to make a life for himself, and for his familiy's future.

I remember very vividly, when my family would drive threw Minto as a kid, and I'd see from the car window, the tar paper shacks, that most of the residents of Minto lived in. There was extreme poverty, and it looked like a desolate, depressing place to live. We never stopped. My father drove in silence, deep in thought, driving staight through the dismal coal town, on auto pilot, heading for Nova Scotia. I could hardly believe this was where my relatives, my family was from, and it all seemed surreal to me.

Many years later, I finally came to know many of my relatives, and my cousins as an adult, after knowing next to nothing about my father's family, as he never spoke of them, nor would he hardly answer my questions about his family, when I asked.

Once I was older, I began to realize, and understand the inherited fabric of my family, the people of Minto, and how they lived their lives, during those coal mining days. They experienced such hard work in dangerous unhealthy conditions, extreme poverty, serious health issues, strong family bonds, and a deep connection to the land. These were all the things that were impressed upon me about Minto, the identity, and the deep roots of my family history.

My great aunt Melada Meyers, who was the matriarch of our family, once described to me the coal mines, as being " rat holes. " She ran the boarding house in the community for the miners, spoke about seven languages, and was the translator of the coal company. She was an amazing lady, who lived until she was 92, full of life, humour, strength, a loving and kind heart. I loved to listen to her tell her stories.

For me knowing my  personal family history, I think, helped me to become a better  artist. Coal mining is very much part of my family history, which makes me proud in many ways, for many reasons. My family inherited a love, and the gift of creativity through art, and music. Today I am grateful for and proud  of my heritage, and family history, regardless of how painful, and difficult, as this I believe makes for a greater depth of character and an ability to be an empathic person and artist.

How To Save Yourself From Yourself

I was never a good student from grade three on. I succinctly remember how school changed for me, beginning with bad teachers, boring classes and once I hit puberty, it all went from bad to worse. Lots of problems at home caused emotional turmoil within my young self. Art and creativity was a kind of therapeutic refuge, helping me cope with melancholy, and depression.

Depression did overwhelm me a few times, and I once had suicidal thoughts. I am grateful I didn't suffer from serious mental illness, though it was in my family, along with alcoholism. I was also affected by the disease of multiple sclerosis, that my brother contracted at sixteen, when I was six years old.

In 1981 I was married to the love of my life, whom I'd lost to paranoid schizophrenia, and brittle diabetics at the age of 27. Bill, was 26 when he died, and we'd been married only four months. This was the lowest point in my life, but I can also say, it was a time when I excelled creatively. After Bill died, my own disease of alcoholism took a downward spiral as the years passed, until finally through the Grace of God I got into recovery, almost 21 years ago.

The worst thing about disease, whatever it might be, is the denial we can all experience. Most of society does not want to talk about disease, particularly mental illness of any kind, whether it be mild depression, an ongoing clinical depression, or other serious disorders.

 I've heard it said, that denial, and the refusal to openly accept mental illness or disease, can be worse than the illness itself. I would think the reason being is, that it prevents the individual from getting any help and support, that they so need. This is why I feel so strongly about talking honestly, and openly about this topic, because you never know who's life you might save, perhaps even your own.

It has been absolutely vital for me to educate myself, so as to be able to cope with mental illness, and other kinds of illnesses.

There is a significant difference between melancholy, clinical depression, and mental illness. It is impossible to be happy all the time, and really, who would want to be? If we weren't unhappy we'd never know or appreciate happiness. But when you are suffering from serious illness, we need to seek help, and others need to educate themselves, reach out, and help us, help ourselves.

There can be no room for shame or judgement in illness of any kind, and we all need to make a concerted effort to be accepting, and proactive. We also need to advocate and organize for change, and save ourselves from ourselves, by coming out of our denial, and move toward acceptance.

Where To Find Frida Kahlo's Paintings In 2015?

I was excited to hear about an exhibition of Frida Kahlo's paintings in  New York City's Botanical Garden. It is a major exhibition, they are calling FRIDA KAHLO: Art, Garden, Life, opening on May 16, 2015, through November 1, 2015. This will be Frida Kahlo's first solo exhibition in 25 years in New York City focusing on her passion for the botanical world.

 Gisèle Freund, “Frida in the Garden, Casa Azul” (1951) (courtesy Throckmorton Fine Arts)

Frida Kahlo, Self-Portrait with Thorn Necklace and Hummingbird, 1940. Harry Ransom Center, The University of Texas at Austin. © 2014 Banco de México Diego Rivera Frida Kahlo Museums Trust,

Frida Kahlo, Self-Portrait with Thorn Necklace and Hummingbird, 1940. Harry Ransom Center, The University of Texas at Austin. © 2014 Banco de México Diego Rivera Frida Kahlo Museums Trust,

Frida Kahlo, “Flower of Life (Flame Flower)” (1943), oil on masonite, 27.8 x 19.7 cm (via wikiart.org)

Frida Kahlo, “Still Life with Parrot and Flag” (1951), oil on canvas, 25.4 x 29.7 cm (via wikiart.org)aption

The most beautiful black and white photos I have seen of Frida's surroundings in La Casa Azul I found here, at Museo Frida Kahlo
This site has a broad variety of photographs of La Cas Azul and with pictures of her actual traditional costumes.

I have been to New York City twice, and so wish I could attend this exhibition, which I know will be spectacularly beautiful,  and I am certain very moving to all those like me, who love Frida Kahlo.

Reel Youth

As a former Youth Care Worker I am always excited and overjoyed when I learn about innovative and  youth programs involving creativity, because it makes me feel hopeful about the future of humanity and the world. Here is a fantastic program called Reel Youth.

Art+o+Mat - Art Vending Machine

Art+0+Mat is a novel idea and very appealing to me. I suppose, because of it's retro and nostalgic appearance of the machines, but I also love the personal hands on immediacy, and availability of the art that is dispensed.

I expect there would be some folks that might find this silly, demeaning to the artist and to creativity itself. I think it is a great idea and wished I thought of it!

It's open to all artists submissions to sell their work, with a set price of five dollars per piece and the artist receives $2.50 for each one sold, with a production of fifty to be submitted if you are accepted.
I've posted some of my favs!

Museum As Medium

I think the average artist and contemporary art student has a love hate relationship with museums and  perhaps often sees museums as the corporate aspect of art and artists, epitomizing the business of the art world.

In spite of the fact that our fourth year Fine Art class were able to see such a variety of remarkable and inspiring art work by numerous renowned artists, which I can not underestimate, it was however the experience of the small independent galleries in Chelsea that many seemed to be have struck by. 


There is much to be said for the small museum. Through out my youth and adult life I recall visiting odd, unusual, little, museums,  some in Ontario, others throughout parts of Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and Prince Edward Island.  They were always full of strange and wondrous items and treasures. Three headed calves, clothes that belonged to the biggest man in the Maritimes, the smallest woman, antique tools, farm machinery, replicas of buildings and some preserved original structures. They were fascinating,  interactive memorials that transported you to another time and place.


There is a place for the large mammoth museum I know. The smaller museums offer something very different though I believe, allowing for, the museum as medium, because of the intimate experience enabled by the particular, the peculiar, the precious and the rare. You don't get lost in the small museum, and more often than not you have the opportunity to converse at length with the curator, which enriches the experience.

I noticed in the Metropolitan Museum there were rooms, like small museums within the museum. I went to the antique musical instrument room. It was an amazing, intimate experience, and I didn't feel overwhelmed with the expanse of space and the amount of items within the exhibit. It was a valuable characteristic that optimized the museum as medium.

Last week I watched Night At The Museum with Ben Stiller, featuring The Museum of Natural History in New York City, an incredible place. Here's a funny clip  about not touching the exhibits.
I remember going to the Royal Albert Museum in London England, seeing Goya's masterpiece, Guernica and waiting so badly to touch it. The attendant very assertively reminded me to not touch the painting. I must have had that look on my face, that he undoubtedly had seen many times before.  It's the most natural thing for a person to want to do I think, or perhaps that's peculiar to artists. I also saw the wonderful dancer Josephine Baker's costumes with all those feathers. I admit I touched it!

 

Performance, Narrative and Art

Recently, our Art Seminar Professor Jerry Ropson asked our class to work on a project involving an interview with our fellow art students. He divided us into predetermined groups of three and four.  We were also asked to provide a couple of you tube videos related to our art practice.

The initial questions I asked, where based on the Proust Questionnaire, acting as a jumping off point enabling us to get to know more about ourselves and each other. They also lead to more questions and further discussion. We produced our own video that consisted of actual video taped interviews. I will post this at a later date once they have been edited. We will be presenting this project in class tomorrow.


Ideas On Performance and How It  Relates To Narrative:

CM  Performance I am not so interested in. I am not a performance artist, though I have been involved in  studying the elements of developmental drama and comedia del arte/street theatre in the past. I am very interested in archetypes that also run through many theatrical classical types, and how this translates into my painting through imagery of mythology, story telling and narrative.

I think we all have elements to some degree that resemble archetypes and are often played out in persona or personal masks or roles we play in life. I find this intriguing and psychologically I try to learn about the human condition, through archetype and myth in the form of story telling, legend, regardless if they are fictional or not.

RT  The line between who you are and your art, for example K and I have a lot of self portraiture in our art. Do you feel your art has any form of self portraiture? Or does it identify with who you are?

CM  Well, I can't help but feel that this is going to happen because it is an expression of yourself (art). I love portraiture and this had been my passion in the past and still is, but now my work is more about a kind of inner self portraiture. 

RT  Yes that makes sense. So does your art take on more like a narrative of the inner self then?

CM  Yes
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S75oLIYbW

CM Proust Questions
1. Your favourite character in fiction?
2. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
3. Your favourite painter?
4. Your favourite occupation?
5. What's your greatest regret?
6. What's your greatest achievement?
1. My favourite character in fiction when I was young, was always Snow White. I think I wanted to be her.  I identified I think because I thought of her as being kind and sweet like her. I wanted to emulate her. She had all those ugly funny looking friends (dwarfs) she lived with but she loved them regardless and they all loved her too. They never resented her for being beautiful. I guess she is still my favourite fictional character, because of the same reasons.

2. If  I could change one thing about myself  I would like to be less of a procrastinator. This problem of procrastination directly affects my life. I can't wait around to get motivated or inspired and though I don't do this now, I still procrastinate at times, when it comes to being productive creatively as a daily habit. So that's why I write regularly in journals, it helps me to be disciplined and keeps the creative wheels greased and juices flowing. I'm not sure how exactly this works but I know it does. It has something to do with my unconscious and the right side of my brain I think.

3. My favourite painter is Andrew Wyethe, who uses egg tempera. After being able to see his work in NYC I was absolutely blown away with the masterful mark making. My favourite occupation has been being a Youth Care Worker working with troubled kids especially when I could use my skills as an creative person and working with horses as well. Animals, art and kids is one of the very best combinations ever.

5. My greatest regret would be not finishing my Fine Art degree from NSCAD. However I don't hold on to this regret, the main thing is, I am going to finish my BFA this coming Spring at Mount Allison and I am so happy and satisfied with this wonderful experience later in my later life as a Crone!

6. My greatest achievement?  I have had a few but returning to University too finish my degree at the age of 56 would be the greatest achievement to date.

RT That's funny because I did a big project on snow white in 2nd year in drawing...it was more about the romanticizing of Disney characters though and the unrealistic depiction of women etc.

I procrastinate too! I would definitely change that, or my fickleness. I'm really bad at making decisions, because I always want to do everything!

RT  How do you feel about acting on stage vs street theatre?

Do you feel like we have different personas or selves. Do you represent yourself always in one way, or in many different ways; for example do you act the same in every situation, or do you act differently sometimes..why do you think people act or in different ways in different situations?

CM  Instead of studying Comedia del arte I should have applied to Second City. I love Second City Improv! That would have been my dream come true!

CM   Street theatre is right there on the street with close contact with the audience, I love that. Anything is possible, anything can happen. I loved the immediacy improv element living in the present moment and working off of your fellow performers. I see it like the stage is more like the big commercial gallery. Street theatre is like the artist run centre.


CM  I just try to be myself but sometimes there are circumstances when you need to act accordingly. But I don't often find myself in these situations. Some folks don't know who they are, know themselves very well or aren't comfortable in their own skin and so try to conform or are like camelions becoming what they think will please others in whatever situation they find themselves in. That stinks.

http://youtu.be/eT2R3E7vDUc

KH  Proust Questions

1. I'm not sure I really have a favourite character in fiction. I don't read a whole lot and i think that with movies and tv shows i tend to be more interested in the actor than the character itself. but someone who comes to mind is Sally Bowles in cabaret, as portrayed by the fabulous Liza Minnelli. I guess the thing I'm interested in, is that she tries so hard to be this outgoing sexy type character, but you can tell that she really is putting it all on and inside she's kind of a mess.

2. If  I could change one thing about myself, the obvious answers for me here would be, to go with the appearance based things, like I wish I were taller, thinner and my boobs weren't so big. But that wouldn't really help anything in the long run, so maybe something like not procrastinating would be good for me too. i definitely do it enough. or just that I wish i could just be more motivated in general.

3. Who is my favourite painter? I don't think I have a favourite painter, necessarily. I appreciate painting but it rarely grabs me the same way some other forms of art do. I've also always had a hard time naming one particular artist as my favourite. I'll say that last week in New York City, I  saw a Louise Bourgeois sculpture at the Brooklyn Museum, that I unexpectedly loved, which gave me a new appreciation for her.

4. An occupation I've had? I haven't really had any I particularly liked. My least favourite would have to be a tie between waitressing at my grandparents' restaurant with a horrible head waitress who did nothing but take smoke breaks and tips, and summer camps for 3262247473 kids who didn't want to be there.

5. What's my greatest regret? All the things I haven't done.

6.What's my greatest achievement? Something I haven't done yet.

CM  I agree R the female Disney personas are abysmal. Though I'm not sure when I was little I thought about how beautiful she was but I thought it was strangely curious why she was living with dwarfs, and I found it lovely they got along so well and how they had such affection for one another

CM   K do you identify with that character Sally Bowles? Or do you identify with Liza Minelli? Is motivation peculiar to artists K or is there a reason you feel motivation is an issue for you personally?

KH  It might just be that I’m trying to find a way to justify using Liza Minnelli as
my answer. I don't think I really identify with her, necessarily, because she
comes from this entirely different background that i can't even begin to
understand. I guess I'm just drawn to this persona that she seems to have
created for herself. Her whole image and the way she acted from just seemed
very deliberate, and now that she's older she kind of just lets the crazy show
through. she's been through a lot, she's a tough lady.

I think most, if not all, artists have motivation problems to some extent. Then
I look around me and see everyone working and making these amazing things and I
feel like for me it is a bit more of a problem. Not just motivation to do art,
but motivation to do anything at all. Sometimes sleeping just seems more
attractive to me than engaging with the real world.

RT Proust Questions

1. I have a lot of favourite characters in fiction, mostly in Disney movies and musicals. I love the Little Mermaid and Belle. Also Alfaba from Wicked, Mimi from RENT, Nina and Vanessa from In the Heights, Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice, Meg from Phantom, Meg from Hercules, Pocahontas, Danielle from Ever After. That's just to name a few. I spend a lot of my time pretending to be characters I am not, like whenever I sing, I'm probably not paying attention to other people, I'm just acting in my own world.

2. I also wish I could sing/act/dance well enough to be on Broadway, or some big musical.

3. I don't look at much painting, but I saw Eric Zener's paintings in NY and I loved them, mostly because of the subject matter but also because they are very photo-realistic and photo is my thing. The paintings are of people underwater;a lot of them are falling or jumping into the water. They seem suspended in space. To me it's like the freedom I feel when I am in water, I have a powerful connection with water that I find hard to explain. I especially love the way the human body looks and feels in water. It is cool and beautiful.

4. My favourite and least favourite occupation was tree planting. It sucked but it was also an amazing experience.

5. I don't really believe in regretting things. I think you learn from everything you do and that makes you a better person.

6. I don't know abut achievement but up to this point some of the best decisions I have made where. to stay home and study fine arts here to quit tree planting and come home for my dad's birthday this summer and to go see the musical "In The Heights" in Scranton, New York last weekend.

CM  It's wonderful to look at artist  or art that can change our minds, change our art, and change our opinions!

CM You can act, dance and sing already R.. You're a triple threat!

RT  A favourite occupation? A job the would be great? Something to do with theatre and art and maybe kids.

CM  Interesting what you say about water and how you identify with that. I also am the same. When I studied Mime I learned this is the element I identify with. We really all do have an element we are most like I believe.

Regrets aren't healthy no point in worrying about the past.
Rena what do you consider to be some of the most important lessons you have learned through your mistakes as an art student over the past four years?

Art Is A Work Of Love

I don't believe, as some artists do, that collaboration with other artists or with scientists is the answer to today's problems in art. I feel that the essential nature of art is oneness or aloneness. I am convinced that the heroic quality of all great art of the past was achieved because one man's libido was involved. l suppose the only thing that l really took with me from art school was a teacher's remark that "art is a work of love". - Hugh Leroy

Politics

Well here we go again with another election. I am a rather apolitical person with a social conscience. I have heard it said as an artist and a human being everything we do is political in some way. I tend to believe this to be indeed true. Even apathy is a political statement.

As an artist and a citizen living within society I can't afford to be complacent or apathetic.
I have no desire to be the guilty bystander. It is difficult to reconcile oneself to this when it comes election time in Canada. People are cynical and fed up with the inaction of politicians and their inability to relate to the common working man or women as they generally appear to live in ivory towers, squabbling among them selves about who is right or wrong and taking the moral high ground. When it comes to politicians I think most folks would see this description of politicians taking the moral high ground as being an oxymoron.

So the inevitable question I am left with once again, is who to vote for and as an artist and a struggling student when I think about it, I have to consider the lesser of four evils or the one that comes close to my concerns as an artist and as a Canadian.

All I have to say is, I will once again vote.

God help me and our country.


“It is true, political problems are not solved by love and mercy. But the world of politics is not the only world, and unless political decisions rest on a foundation of something better and higher than politics, they can never do any real good for men. When a country has to be rebuilt after war, the passions and energies of war are no longer enough. There must be a new force, the power of love, the power of understanding and human compassion, the strength of selflessness and cooperation, and the creative dynamism of the will to live and to build, and the will to forgive. The will for reconciliation.” - from Introductions East & West. The Foreign Prefaces of Thomas Merton

Art Art

A friend sent me this quote by Arnold Weinstein from his book. I really like it, and I need to read this guys books! I found a site to down load the e-book, A Scream Goes Through The House. I myself prefer reading the hard copy book then the virtual.

Art honors what is best in feeling, pith and keenness of sensation, radiance of thought, enchantment of the heart. Art restores us to full circulation. Arnold Weinstein -- A Scream Goes Through The House

Dina Babbitt Auschwitz Artist

This morning I heard a CBC radio show, featuring Dina Babbitt. She is an 85 year old Artist /Survivor of Auschwitz. Her very poignant and moving story is a great testament to her personal courage, strength and beautiful spirit. Please visit her site to find out about her and how she needs and wants to retrieve her art, that is in the Auschwitz Museum. This work rightfully belongs to her and they are refusing to release it to her, the aritist, that produced it during the time of her imprisonment in Auschwitz Death Camp. On her site is given the address to email the museum to ask them to return Dina's work.

http://www.dinababbitt.com/
E-mail us at michele@dinababbitt.com and/or e-mail your support of Dina to the Auschwitz-Birkenau Museum at muzeum@auschwitz.org.pl

Art, Love and Crazy Making

I got out of bed this morning with plans of setting my, ready to go fire, in the woodstove I'd prepared the night before. I had blueberry, banana, bran muffins with raisins, all the ingredients I'd set out too, from the night before. I was expecting an afternoon meeting, so I was very prepared for my guest. But not prepared for the unexpected phone call first thing before I got to any of this; from one I love, who can be crazy making for me...if I allow for that to happen. That's the key. Crazy making can only affect me now if I let it. I didn't know this to be so in the past, I had a choice. It still isn't easy when it comes to those we love or are in love with. Fact is biological changes that happen to us when we are in love really do affect the way we feel, think and behave. All the racing to our brains seritonin and dopamine I think. So we don't think to clearly. I had forfeited my art interests in the past for love or lust or both in the past. All added up to disaster, resulted in no art, no man, no peace of mind, self-esteem, respect, etc. So I am very grateful to be able to say and know I choose not to let crazy making affect me today. At least not like it did in the past. Kind regards, Catherine