Inside All of Us Is a Wild Thing

This list makes me laugh. It's my list of I guess what some might consider wild things I did as a kid. I spent a lot of time alone, and so maybe I was easily bored, and tried to entertain myself. Maybe I spent a lot of time day dreaming, following my heart, took more risks, looked for more ways to express myself, didn't like boundaries, and just liked making new experiences for myself. I have to say I haven't changed much in many ways.

6 Things I Did Differently Than The Rest?

1. Climbed the Guelph water tower on a dare when I was 13
2. Got my feet caught in an eves trough, jumping off the roof of my house again at 13
3. Got my middle finger stuck in one of the holes in a hand pump at 11
4. Shaved my eyebrow off when I was 10
5. Got a ping-pong net clamp stuck on my arm when I was about 7
6. Stuck a very small blackball candy in my ear was I was 4

I've done a lot of things that I could call stupid, but I don't think they were. Mostly I attribute this list above, to simply being a kid, and the stuff I did as an adult I'll omit. Many of the things I did as an adult might be considered a little wild by some, but in retrospect they caused me to grow, increased my confidence, never left me bored, and were great adventures.That list is long, and some are frankly a little embarrassing, some were unwise, but I've made progress, not perfection. Regardless, I've learned a lot of important beneficial life lessons. I suppose I could say or use the excuse, and say I did things because of my creative, over active imagination. I can conjecture, but I really don't know, nor do I really care.

Today I came across this list of 22 things creative people do differently than the rest.

After reading this article, I concluded that as a 'creative'  for as long as I can remember, I am always rather suspect when there are definitive descriptions about the way artists think, and behave. Making generalizations perpetuates myths, misconceptions and misunderstanding. There are more than enough sweeping statements already made, and opinions held about how artists think and behave.


We are all individuals. Everyone has creative capacities. I think making generalizations tends to put people into a stereo typical role, and perpetuates a certain kind of artist persona.

All that said, the lists I found I could most relate to about artists, have been made by Julia Cameron, in her book, The Artist Way. Her list of  Basic Principles, and learning about the myths regarding artists are life altering, and breakdown the stereotypical beliefs surrounding why we believe the myths about why should not or can not be artists.

I'd love to hear what other people did differently than the rest, as a kid, and as an adult ( if you're not too embarrassed) and if you think you are or were different. Do creative people do things differently than the rest? I hope you leave your comments.

Rites of Passage

 

 

 

I was asked to write a guest blog post for my gracious, beautiful and very talented friend Julia Speer , who has a wonderful site, Sage Soul Sisters.

 

Having reached the age of being a Crone, I decided to write a post about rites of passage, and examine what the term means to me personally. I believe it is about transitional change.  I continue to learn what this means to me, and hopefully I will always welcome change with courage.
 In particular, I strongly identify with traditional First Nation people's outlook, and philosophy regarding rites of passage.

People are always changing. We are either moving forward, or regressing, regardless of  the pace or situation. The one thing that stays the same, is that life is always full of transition, from birth to death.
 My life transitions are particular to me of course, but like most folks, many did not come easily, were beyond my control, and some were of my own choice, and decision.

I don't think it much matters what my experiences were, so much as what my attitude was when they happened, and what I gleaned from these rites of passage. The lessons learned, helped me to become a better human being. I always reflect and paraphrase what I heard Angela Davis say during an interview, when asked about her time in prison; when you go through difficult times she stated, these times either break you, or you get stronger.

My attitude toward rites of passage was, and is everything. I had to find the positive, courage, faith, and trust. When I couldn't find these within myself, I borrowed them from some one else. I had to leave put my false pride aside, reach out to others for help, and put my faith in God.

I certainly understand that much of my behaviour was already hardwired in my personality due to my parental upbringing that determined in part, who I would become as an adult woman.

I have had many rites of passage, and I am still connecting these to myself, as a spiritual being, having a human experience, who has recently transitioned into being a crone, now reaching the age of sixty. When I think about this, it causes me to reflect over the course of my life up until the present, and to take a kind of inventory of these rites of passage.

I have listed the most significant rites of passage in my life.

•  The first transition in my life came at the young age of five, when my brother developed multiple sclerosis.
•  I would be directly effected by two diseases. MS and alcoholism.
• At the age of 13 my father left my family, and my brother had a mental breakdown at the age of 23.
• My mother and I returned to Nova Scotia without my brother, and this point I began to get more seriously involved in substance abuse.
• My brother returned to Nova Scotia. I quit high school, and went to vocational school in order to help me get into art college. I decided I wanted to study art.
• At 17-18 years of age I moved out of my mother's home and lived on my own for a period of time in Halifax.
• At 21 I got accepted into NSCAD ( Nova Scotia College of Art and Design ).
• In 1981 I married the love at my life. Four months later, he was dead from a complications from schizophrenia and brittle diabetes, that tragically took his life in 1981 at the age of 26.
• I married again to an abusive, alcoholic man in 1986.
• I got pregnant twice, and miscarried both times.
• In the late 80s I re-united with my father after having no contact with him for 26 years.
• Joined Al-anon in 1988, found myself in Transition House, and divorced in 1991.
• After meeting an Art Therapist, and she introduced me to The Artist Way. I quit my Youth Care Worker profession to go riding horses at 40  for  a period of approximately two years, and I got sober.
• In my second year of sobriety my mother died. My father and mother came to my first year  anniversary.
• Suffice to say, without going into the messy details, I was out in orbit for the first four years of sobriety, until I started to work the 12 Steps, and then things began to improve. I truly had turned my life, and will over to the power of God as I understood.
• I got involved with Mediterranean dance ( Beledi )  which means folk dance, or commonly known as belly dance.
• My father died eleven years ago, and two months later, MS took my big brother and I was a mess, but I stayed clean and sober.
• At 56 years of age, I went back to University and graduated with my Bachelor of Fine Art from Mount Allison University in 2012.

I hesitated a bit in making this list, as part of my post being so personal, and to some may seem very negative. Yes it's true, much of it was negative, but in retrospect, all of these experiences, and events have helped me to become, and to accept who I am mind, body and spirit. I choose not to let my rites of passage define me in a negative way. I became a resilient, whole person, that learned to take responsibility for my own health and happiness. I've learned to accept the things I can not change, to change the things I can, and to know and discern the difference.
I am grateful for each, and every day of my rites of passage, for my contented, happy, sober life. Especially I am forever grateful to those who helped me along the road.

                                            Self-Portrait/ Artist As A Crone



 

Art Story Continued...

My journals I have kept up for over thirty years. I know I am mathematically challenged but I have that number right. It's hard for me to believe it has been that many years. Click on the highlight to see my pile of thirty some years.

The artist's contract I signed in 1995 in my Artist Way Journal and the daily practice of writing three daily pages a day was a wonderful commitment to myself that resulted in an experience that would see me through the death of my mother and morning pages enabled me to fulfill a life long dream of riding horses for two years.

It wasn't everyday that I wrote, not until around the early nineties, when I met an artist/ art therapist. I was taking a class about art therapy through the agency I worked for as a Youth Care Worker. I thought it would be useful to me and the youth I worked with that were troubled kids and young offenders. The woman who I was blessed to have met, we became friends and I would spend hours talking to her about art and art therapy. She had been a graduate of Emily Carr University and had credentials as an Art Therapist. She shared a book with me that she recommended I read, The Artist Way, by Julie Cameron. I have mentioned this book several times in my posts so I won't bother to go on about it again. But if you are in any way curious about this book and want to know more, I would strongly suggest and highly recommend reading it. It truly changed my life and I can assure you if you allow yourself the opportunity to read it and apply the principles and exercises it will change your life as well.

She told me after I finish that she suggested have another book, Women That Run With The Wolves. After I read that one too and found it to be very empowering and I read it again and again from time to time to remind myself of who I am.

Art Story

I was hoping to have a few more things to post regarding my Open Media project but a computer glitch only allowed for these three files to be forwarded. I'll be expanding these further, and will be posting all of the excerpts from two of my journals, dating back to 1982 to 1995. As well, I will be posting more of my late husband's writings, that he wrote in the 70s. These are the first of a number to follow, involving this journal and writing project. To me they all are an expression about life of somewhat unconventional prayerful like thoughts.

The brown marked journal begins in 1982. A lot of changes took place in my life during the period of time, covered in this journal; two years after losing my first husband to a tragic death after four months of our marriage. During this time I turned 30, married and divorced my second husband and reunited with my absentee alcoholic father after 26 years of not knowing his whereabouts.

The second large book, Morning Pages Journal, I made a contract with myself to commit to writing everyday, three pages, which began in 1995. This was also the first year I was introduced to, The Artist Way, by Julie Cameron, which literally changed my life. I had one year of sobriety as a recovering alcoholic, quit my 8 year job as a Youth Care Worker and went riding horses for two years and it was the year my loving mother died.

The single sheet, is a page from one of many writings, belonging to my late husband. This was a writing dedicated to his youngest, little brother, Buddy. Bill's passion was writing and working with troubled kids, and blues. He loved the written word and considered himself to be a writer. I very much believe, Bill truly had the heart of a writer and taught me so much about compassion and generosity more than anyone else I have every met in my life, and after 30 years, I still miss him deeply.

I will be sharing additional excerpts from these journals, along with all of my late husband's writings I have had, since 1980 and have never shared with anyone. Bill died in 1980 following many years of suffering from drug induced paranoid schizophrenia and brittle diabetes. He was 26 when he died, I was 27 and we had been married for a very short four months, after being together for one year. He was truly my best buddy, the love of my life, my soul mate and the heart of my heart.

I have chosen to make this a part of my art work sharing these writings. We all have our own important story to share, and this is a big part of mine and Bill's.

Why I am an Artist/Painter

I was asked the question, why I am painter. This question is a very important one for me to answer and I think in many ways is an ongoing one, in that, I am often asking myself what my art means to me and by times I have had for brief fleeting moments, thought about the reason I would even want to be an artist however I do not support the notion, that there are very negative consequences of choosing a field that may result in pending poverty, or madness. Along with this notion I would include, the myriad of myths and preconceived ideas about artists generally. In the book, The Artist's Way , by Julie Cameron she lists a compendium of these myths. This book was life changing for me, helping me to rediscovery and recover my creative self.

The question I hear posed repeatedly, "what are you going to do when you graduate", or "what will A Bachelor of Fine Art, is that what it's called, get you?". My classmate and I were discussing this notion the other day. I concluded the reason for this query from others perhaps is, because many do not understand how a Fine Art degree can possible translate into anything really viable, other than endless hours of painting in a garret, being a tortured soul, and living from hand to mouth.

That said, I come back to the question of why I am an artist. I believe we are all born creative, some of us become artists, others not, but we all have this innate creative impulse, that is either fostered or not. Fortunately for me, my creativity was greatly valued and I was nurtured as a child growing up in a creative family. Within the school system, in Ontario where art and music was a significant part of the curriculum, played a very valuable role in my decision to be an artist. Academically I was not a good student and did not feel comfortable in a stream lined educational system. This situation became more problematic for me when my family moved back to Nova Scotia in my early teens.

Growing up art for me was an escape and a comfort being in difficult family circumstances. If I couldn't seem to excel in anything academically, I could always express myself creatively and this was supported by my family.

Family, and the educational system both played a major role in my draw toward creative interests and pursuits. Once I became older I was able to find great rewards and satisfaction in my life and work as a Youth Care Worker and being an artist became a life style choice and a way of thinking that was fulfilling and gratifying. I could help young people the way I was helped. Being an artist is more than a vocation, where once being a Youth Care Worker was my vocation, being an artist is all about learning and living life in a holistic manner. Life and art are not separate entities. They both inform one another and as an artist I intend and hope to make the world a better place in encouraging others to follow a creative lifestyle regardless weather they themselves decide to be artists.
I am primarily a painter. I am not sure if I can verbalize exactly why but I have come to learn that painting tells me about myself in a variety of ways. In addition, I feel the strong desire to communicate through painting, though I use other medium, painting for me is the one I feel most connected to. It is a very sensual, physical, and tactile experience. There is a challenge in approaching the blank canvas going through the painting process and then having the satisfaction of work completed. There is a freedom I feel through the discipline of being a painter. It just feels really good for me. As an artist I have learned to be honest, open minded and willing through the creative process.

Blog Brain

Beginning with this weeks entry , I am going to be blogging everyday. It's a daily discipline I have attempted and practiced for a number of years now. Usually, it is written in an actual journal not a blog. Lately I've spent less time writing every day.

Truthfully, going to University full time, does not seem to allow for time to journal every day. Perhaps it is a matter of focus but now my writing is within the context of my art practice for class and I think it will be easier to incorporate into daily routine, rather than periodically, as it is now.

Fortunately, I have Professor's that understand the benefits of daily discipline. We have been asked to participate in a daily practice of our choice, as being part of our Open Media class, so this expedites the writing process.. I do still have to do the leg work and that is the challenge always, however having developed a writing habit over the years it is a somewhat easier.

Journaling is something I have done since my early 20s. I came to take it seriously after being introduced to The Artist Way, by Julia Cameron, in which daily journaling is one of the suggested daily exercises, the other being the artist date, meaning you allot an amount of time during the week, when you do something that adds to your sense of well being as a creative person. The Artist's Way was a life changing book.

It's not so important what it is I write about, but more importantly, that I write, daily. The process allows for a kind of stream of consciousness, that is rather intuitive, uncensored and only needs to be viewed by you alone, unless you choose to share it.

Well I can't spend my day writing in this blog as I have a shit load of work to do. First things first.