Why We Write - Jennifer Egan

I write. Everyday I journal, blog and read books that hopefully help me to write better. Why do I do this? Firstly I think from a young age I would write my thoughts on pieces of paper or in my teenage angst filled dairies and then as an young adult I began to write in journals.

I couldn't articulate why I did this then, but I knew somehow it made me feel better. It was therapeutic and a way of being more objective about what I was experiencing in life. Writing was a kind of philosophical or spiritual kind of self-care. Much of my writing took the form of prayers to the God of my understanding. I'd write down quotes from books and writers that I admired, with words of wisdom that helped comfort me and gave me strength.

I wasn't trying to be a writer, or to even write well. I certainly didn't consider myself to be a writer. This was for my eyes only. Most of it wasn't good writing but regardless I persevered, until eventually my writing improved.

"You can only write regularly if you're willing to write badly...Accept bad writing as a way of priming the pump, a warm-up exercise that allows you to write well "

                                                                               - Jennifer Egan, Why We Write

In the early 90s I got more serious and committed to writing regularly on a daily basis after meeting an art therapist who'd introduced me to The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. Everything in this book affirmed what I had already thought about creativity, but had never been told to me while attending art school. The principles were spiritual and made the direct connection between creativity and the Creator.


Journaling long hand or what some might call slow-journaling, everyday after a lengthy period of time, I realized if I stopped journaling for a week, I didn't feel right. I found myself physiologically down and out of touch with myself. My state of mind felt dark, detached, and feelings of negativity surfaced and were becoming apparent to me. I needed to get myself together and so I'd get back to my regular writing routine. I was afraid if I stop longer than a week, it would be much harder to get back into the habit, but I didn't ever think I would stop permanently. I didn't want to do that, because I had been writing long enough to know how good it was for me.
                                                     -
Finding this article today from Brain Pickings,  again affirmed just why I write.
 Jennifer Egan who wrote the book Why We Write, put into words, what couldn't be expressed more accurately and succinctly.

"When I’m not writing I feel an awareness that something’s missing. If I go a long time, it becomes worse. I become depressed. There’s something vital that’s not happening. A certain slow damage starts to occur. I can coast along awhile without it, but then my limbs go numb. Something bad is happening to me, and I know it. The longer I wait, the harder it is to start again"
When I’m writing, especially if it’s going well, I’m living in two different dimensions: this life I’m living now, which I enjoy very much, and this completely other world I’m inhabiting that no one else knows about.

                                                                        - Jennifer Egan, Why We Write

What Elizabeth Gilbert Learned From Tom Waits

I started this blog seven years ago, as a exploration of what it means to live life creatively. I've learned about, and from so many creative people along the way, and continue to do so.

This journey truly began in 1994, when I was first introduced to a book and recommended by art therapist friend. It was then I read, The Artist's Way a Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron,  which was powerful and life changing for me. I know I always rave about this book, for good reason.  Julia Cameron's ten spiritual principles, and exercises, especially the practice of morning pages, helped me immeasurably. I learned the importance of daily writing. It was the way to channel and create my own creativity. Daily journaling has enabled me to achieve important goals and fulfill some life long dreams.

So many wonderful books about creativity, and not enough time, and am always excited to learn of new good reads by creative people, especially about creative process in all forms.

I have never read the Eat, Pray Love I didn't even see the movie, nor do I recall hearing anything about of Elizabeth Gilbert, though I had heard the title, as a good friend recommended it to me some time ago, but I never got around to reading it. Some times I feel I live in cave. Progress not perfection is the order of my days.

So I consulted the Google god! I found this great TED talk with Elizabeth Gilbert. When she mentioned the Greeks and Romans, along with Tom Waits, she got my attention!

Now I have to read Eat, Pray, Love, and can hardly wait for Big Magic! I'll  skip the movie, because the book is always better than the movie right?

To Journal or Not to Journal?

Having so many journals, now numbering in the fourties, that I have been writing for over thirty years, I am faced ever now and then, with a question. What the heck am I going to do with these? For a long time I thought about compiling all of them into a book of sorts, not necessarily for others, but maybe. I did attempt to edit each one but the task was just too daunting, and frankly mostly painful to read, as much of the writing was day to day, stream of consciousness, mundane gobbledygook. However, keeping journals gives you a kind of immortality. I have no children to pass them onto, but who knows, perhaps the world might be interested one day! Laugh out loud!

At some point, hopefully sooner than later, I am going to maybe have some kind of ceremony, or perhaps just throw them out with the trash to unburden myself from years of all these thoughts on paper, collecting dust. I am not so sure what the point of hanging on to them would be. In spite of this, my emotional reaction is, the thought of getting rid of them, is rather like letting go of a big part of myself, kind of like a death. This is an extreme thought I know. These journals are simply my thoughts, not my life. I have internalized all of these journals and so disposing of them doesn't necessarily make them gone.

It has been documented, researched and studied, how journaling can enrich our lives, help us to make sense of our inner world, figure things out, and just provide a cheap form of therapy.

I am not sure if one can know just how journaling can change and improve your life, if one has never  practiced this daily discipline, over a lengthy period of time. I can attest, journaling certainly changed mine. I was able to fulfill many life long dreams, work through much grief and change, decrease my many character defects, and greatly improve upon my strengths and capacities.

I especially got really serious about journaling in 1994, after reading Julia Cameron's book The Artist Way, which was recommended to me by an Art Therapist. My journaling increased my creativity as an artist, and became an essential part of my creative process, and continues to be to this day.

Journaling lead me to start this blog in 2008, and to my interest in Tarot reading and my second blog, Apple River Tarot Readings. Journaling also resulted in fulfilling my life long dream of learning how to ride horses. At the age of 40 I enrolled in an Equestrian Coaching Preparation program for almost two years, living on a working horse farm.  Sixteen years later I returned to University to finish my Bachelor of Fine Arts at the age of 56, graduating in 2012. I definitely attribute both these accomplishments to regular journaling.

I understand, not every one has an interest in writing, and I think this is probably what determines why an individual would or would not keep a journal. However many well known successful individuals, writers, artists, musicians, poets and presidents through out history kept journals. Journaling dates back to the 10th century.

As a young girl like many others girls my age, I kept a dairy. You know the ones, with flowers on the cover, and the little key, to ensure no prying eyes would ever read your inner most thoughts about the boy you had a big crush on, or how you'd written swear words about your stupid brother etc. My interest in writing started at a young age, and into my teens I would write poetry and essays, but it wasn't until I became a young adult, that I was even more drawn to writing, and in particular, journaling.

Blogging is certainly a great form of journaling, minus all the mundane goobledygook, and the naughty bits. But virtual online writing will never replace the hard copy, with a putting a good writing pen to paper, into a beautiful new journal. I get excited just thinking about it! I hope I will never stop journaling!

Here is a list of how journaling can help you, and some links to explore further, the benefits of keeping a regular daily journal.

• Clarify your thoughts and feelings. 
• Know yourself better. 
• Reduce stress. 
• Solve problems more effectively. 
• Resolve disagreements with others.   
•  https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/memory-medic/201408/handwritten-notes-lead-better-learning
•  http://apt.rcpsych.org/content/11/5/338.full
•  http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-health-benefits-of-journaling/000721

Inside All of Us Is a Wild Thing

This list makes me laugh. It's my list of I guess what some might consider wild things I did as a kid. I spent a lot of time alone, and so maybe I was easily bored, and tried to entertain myself. Maybe I spent a lot of time day dreaming, following my heart, took more risks, looked for more ways to express myself, didn't like boundaries, and just liked making new experiences for myself. I have to say I haven't changed much in many ways.

6 Things I Did Differently Than The Rest?

1. Climbed the Guelph water tower on a dare when I was 13
2. Got my feet caught in an eves trough, jumping off the roof of my house again at 13
3. Got my middle finger stuck in one of the holes in a hand pump at 11
4. Shaved my eyebrow off when I was 10
5. Got a ping-pong net clamp stuck on my arm when I was about 7
6. Stuck a very small blackball candy in my ear was I was 4

I've done a lot of things that I could call stupid, but I don't think they were. Mostly I attribute this list above, to simply being a kid, and the stuff I did as an adult I'll omit. Many of the things I did as an adult might be considered a little wild by some, but in retrospect they caused me to grow, increased my confidence, never left me bored, and were great adventures.That list is long, and some are frankly a little embarrassing, some were unwise, but I've made progress, not perfection. Regardless, I've learned a lot of important beneficial life lessons. I suppose I could say or use the excuse, and say I did things because of my creative, over active imagination. I can conjecture, but I really don't know, nor do I really care.

Today I came across this list of 22 things creative people do differently than the rest.

After reading this article, I concluded that as a 'creative'  for as long as I can remember, I am always rather suspect when there are definitive descriptions about the way artists think, and behave. Making generalizations perpetuates myths, misconceptions and misunderstanding. There are more than enough sweeping statements already made, and opinions held about how artists think and behave.


We are all individuals. Everyone has creative capacities. I think making generalizations tends to put people into a stereo typical role, and perpetuates a certain kind of artist persona.

All that said, the lists I found I could most relate to about artists, have been made by Julia Cameron, in her book, The Artist Way. Her list of  Basic Principles, and learning about the myths regarding artists are life altering, and breakdown the stereotypical beliefs surrounding why we believe the myths about why should not or can not be artists.

I'd love to hear what other people did differently than the rest, as a kid, and as an adult ( if you're not too embarrassed) and if you think you are or were different. Do creative people do things differently than the rest? I hope you leave your comments.

"Are You Too Old To Do What You Really Love?"

Julia Cameron

“But do you know how old I will be by the time I learn to really play the piano / act / paint / write a decent play?"
Yes . . . the same age you will be if you don't.”
― Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity

I went to the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design ( NSCAD) in the 70s. I wasn't able to finish my degree in my last year. It wore heavy on my heart for thirty years. I continued with my art work, and supported myself with various jobs, namely as a Youth Care Worker. I finally was able to return as a mature student to finish my BFA at the age of 56 in 2009. If I had let my age stop me, I'd never have been able to fulfill my dream and goal of attending  Mount Allison University in the Fine Art program, and having graduated in 2012. It was a wonderful experience, but you must want it, need to be able to think for yourself, keep an open mind, believe in yourself, and do the work.

When I was in my 20s, I was no where ready to attend University, but I do not regret it for a minute. NSCAD was quite a remarkable experience in the 70s, full of change, feminism, art adventures and some amazing teachers.
I think one of the main reasons I went back to school several times in my life is because I love learning, especially life long learning. We are never too old to learn.


Going to art school is very stimulating. You learn a discourse, interact with other artists, build confidence, learn so many skills, and network.
I would highly recommend anyone to go get themselves into a Fine Art program and get a degree, if art is your passion, you think can afford it, and you are really ready.

If a person loves and wants to be a teacher, doctor, lawyer, or any other profession, no one would ever think not going to University to get a degree is a good idea, so why would we entertain the idea it is okay not to bother getting a degree in the study of art.

Of course a degree does not make or a guarantee good artist, nor a good doctor etc., but it sets a standard of professionalism that I believe is crucial. Most of all it has been and is still essential that I love what I do whatever it is I choose, whatever my age.

Creative Recovery

 Being off line gave me time to reflect, and contemplate. I find knitting and doing repetitive work meditative, which sometimes give rise to "deep thoughts", not unlike Saturday Night Live's  Jack Handey. 

"Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk."
Seriously though, today being January 1st, 2014 New Year's Day, I routinely, ever year, give thought to January 2nd, due to the fact I am a recovering  alcoholic. January 2nd is my dry date, and tomorrow is I think, a milestone in my recovery, as it will be twenty years for me clean and sober since 1994. 

I heard it said once by an A.A. member, that giving an alcoholic an award or medallion for their recovery, is rather like giving a cowboy who has hemorrhoids, an award, for not getting on his horse. I quite agree and like that comparison, however none the less sobriety for me, is no less significant, because my life was changed forever, not to mention saved, when I became honest, open minded and willing.
I am very grateful I managed to make it through the rooms of recovery, as I know there are many who do not and loose their lives.


Creativity and recovery is something on my mind today, and so I did some research online. Inevitably, as usual, I was lead back to Julia Cameron ,whose book, The Artist Way, had such a profound effect on me, as I identify so much with her, being an addict, and an artist.

I found some compelling online words by her on the subject of recovery and creativity. As well I found out that she has written a memoir entitled Floor Sample revealing her personal journey with addiction, mental illness, and tumultuous relationships. 

I found the following interview Samuel Bercholz from Shambhala Sun, had with Julia Cameron, about her creative process, and her own sobriety.


How did your knowledge of the creative process inform your journey toward sobriety?
 
Julia Cameron:I think that I had a lot of confusion about creativity and sobriety. We often confuse alcoholism and artistry. [Many creative] role models were often active alcoholics. In reading Fitzgerald or Hemingway you would essentially be reading a drinking story. Drinking and writing seemed to go together like scotch and sodas. It was a tremendous shock to my system to find out that I could write stone cold sober, that I could take the drama of alcoholic artistry and convert it to a user-friendly model of sobriety and creativity.
 


Julia Cameron: Our mythology tells us that artists are addicted people - that they are promiscuous, drug addicted, alcoholic. We've come to think that somehow those addictions are part of the creative process.
My experience is exactly the opposite. My experience is that creativity is freedom from addiction. We are frightened when we feel the force of our own creative energy, because we don't know how to ground it. This is why my tools tend to be grounding tools, and when creativity is safely grounded and used, addictions fall to one side. Conversely, if you see someone addicted, what you're seeing is a profoundly creative soul reaching for a substitute to self-expression.
When people get sober they can be profoundly creative. When people get emotionally sober off of a process addiction like workaholism or sex addiction or relationship addiction, they have freed for their use a beautiful amount of new usable energy with which they can make wonderful things. That doesn't just mean writing a poem or making a ceramic vase. It can be a new system for the office. It can be revamping the way they do parent/teacher meetings.
But often what happens is that when we experience our creative energy we don't recognize it as creative energy; we just think it's anxiety. So rather than saying, "How can I direct this energy and what should I make?" we try to block it. We block it by thinking of some titillating sexual adventure. We block it by picking up a drink. We block it with a pint of Hagen Daas. We block it by picking up workaholic work. But it doesn't go away; it's still there. Creativity is always there, because it is as innate to humanity as blood and bone. It is the animating force.

Happy New Year's folks and remember to keep your sense of humour. It makes life a whole lot easier.

Blog Brain

Beginning with this weeks entry , I am going to be blogging everyday. It's a daily discipline I have attempted and practiced for a number of years now. Usually, it is written in an actual journal not a blog. Lately I've spent less time writing every day.

Truthfully, going to University full time, does not seem to allow for time to journal every day. Perhaps it is a matter of focus but now my writing is within the context of my art practice for class and I think it will be easier to incorporate into daily routine, rather than periodically, as it is now.

Fortunately, I have Professor's that understand the benefits of daily discipline. We have been asked to participate in a daily practice of our choice, as being part of our Open Media class, so this expedites the writing process.. I do still have to do the leg work and that is the challenge always, however having developed a writing habit over the years it is a somewhat easier.

Journaling is something I have done since my early 20s. I came to take it seriously after being introduced to The Artist Way, by Julia Cameron, in which daily journaling is one of the suggested daily exercises, the other being the artist date, meaning you allot an amount of time during the week, when you do something that adds to your sense of well being as a creative person. The Artist's Way was a life changing book.

It's not so important what it is I write about, but more importantly, that I write, daily. The process allows for a kind of stream of consciousness, that is rather intuitive, uncensored and only needs to be viewed by you alone, unless you choose to share it.

Well I can't spend my day writing in this blog as I have a shit load of work to do. First things first.

Creativity - Basic Principles

BASIC PRINCIPLES - from the book, The Artist's Way a Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity - Julia Cameron

1. Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy:pure creative energy.

2. There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all of life-including ourselves.

3. When we open ourselves to our creativity, we open ourselves to the creator's creativity

within us and our lives.

4. We are, ourselves, creations. And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being

creative ourselves.

5. Creativity is God's gift to us. Using our creativity is our gift back to God.

6. The refusal to be creative is self-will and is counter to our true nature.

7. When we open ourselves to exploring our creativity, we open ourselves to God: good

orderly direction.

8. As we open our creative channel to the creator, many gentle but powerful changes are to be

expected.

9. It is safe to open ourselves up to greater and greater creativity.

10. Our creative dreams and yearnings come from a divine source. As we move toward our

dreams, we move toward our divinity.

- The Artist's Way - Julia Cameron and Mark Bryan

The Artist's Way - Julia Cameron  and Mark Bryan