The Beauty and the Misery - I Wish It Could Be Christmas Forever

I've been a recovering alcoholic going on soon for 23 years January 2nd. I also recently came to terms with accepting and understanding that I have Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

 Being creative I've been a sensitive type, and creating art has been a great outlet that helped me immeasurably to work through the sorrows and stress in my life. My body has a physical memory of Christmases past and I've made a conscious connection with this being the reason I have an innate sadness during this time of year, that is apparently supposed to be filled with happiness, while singing songs of joy and peace.

But that isn't the reality for many people this time of year. Instead of trying to pretend our way through, it's important to acknowledge and express our feelings,  let them go and then we can hopefully get on with what there is to really be happy about because there's a whole lot to be grateful for, every day.

I heard an old song this morning on the radio, like the schmaltzy sentimental ones our parents would listen to at Christmas, sung by guys like Perry Como. The song was, I Wish It Could Be Christmas Forever. Here are the lyrics below which speak about love and peace, friends and loved ones being near.

I wish it could be Christmas forever,
I wish that glow would never fade away!
With friends and loved ones near us,
'Round the Christmas tree so tall,
We hear the church bells ringing,
Dear Lord, bless us one and all!

I know I'd be content now and forever,
If those Christmas lights would sparkle every day,
There'd be candy canes and mistletoe,
Children singing carols we know (singing carols we know,)
If love and peace on earth would always stay,
I know it could be Christmas every day!

Songwriters
BERNARD, FELIX / SMITH, RICHARD B.

I'm one of those folks that wishes it could be Christmas forever, because I wish and pray there could be love and peace in this old world, as opposed to hate and violence. The hypocrisy of in the world, consumerism and commercialism becomes so apparent at Christmas. It can get oppressive and leave many wishing that it would all would simply disappear, because you see just how much needless suffering and adversity there is for no reason. It often makes no sense in the world and not enough of us care to do something about it, nor do we feel that we can do anything about it.

I think why so many of us are so nostalgic about Christmas, and long for the traditions of the past, is because Christmas is not the same as it once was, and we know it. People don't pay enough attention these days, to it's real meaning.

Yes there is much beauty in the world, and there is much misery, and it's no different at Christmas, but it does become even more poignantly obvious.

If I try my best to bring love and peace into this world everyday, my hope and prayer is, that it'll bring Christmas a little closer to that forever place...

White Ribbon Day

I always keep an eyeball peeled for the date that Advent falls on. I've always looked forward to Advent because it uplifts my spirits during the dark days of Fall, into the Christmas season. But somehow this year I missed the date. It usually marks the time for me to dig out my Christmas ornaments  and decorate the house. I'd mentioned this to a friend the other day and realized after looking at the calendar I'd completely missed the beginning of Advent , Sunday November 27 2016.. So today I dug out the ornaments and got everything up even my little artificial Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

Every year you hear about how difficult Christmas is for many, and it's true. It's always been this way for me. But after being alone for so many years I realized that there are certain things that I can do to make this time of the year a little more enjoyable. I've had to make my own traditions and  I don't let the pressures effect me. I've never been one to let the commercialism and consumerism of it all to affect me. I've simply removed myself from these environments and situations. I completely avoid the shopping malls and I don't allow myself to get caught up in the obligatory gift giving. It helps me to remember, it's not the gift, but the giver of the gift that is important.

I'm enjoying my decorating though it's far from fancy, it's pretty simply, but it's creative and I like it that way.
Christmas has become too complicated and not about peace on earth, kindness and love toward others.

I have to take responsibility to make it Christmas in my life everyday, not just one day out of the year. I leave up some of my little Christmas ornaments to remind myself of this.

Today during this Advent season, December 6 is the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women in Canada, it's important now, more than ever, with what's happening throughout the world, to remember to be an example of peace and to stand against injustice every day in whatever way we can.

Life Death Life Cycle

Caitlin Doughty is a Los Angeles, CA. mortician and a writer who started The Order of The Good Death in 2011. I heard an interview with her on CBC radio for a second time. The first time I didn't listen as intently as I did on this occasion. Why I paid close attention today was because a close friend's brother-in-law died just a few days prior to Christmas. I came to the realization that I think deeply at Christmas about those that we love and loose to death, under very difficult and painful circumstances, that perhaps we can ever imagine.

Amidst the Christmas festivity, and celebration of the birth of the Christ Child,  present to me, is a pervading sense and reminder of death. This may sound morbid, but I have come to realize this is all part and parcel of  cycle of life. It is what Jungian analyst, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola  refers to, in the story about Skeleton Woman, as being  the life-death-life cycle.  There is life after death I believe. I am not just talking about Heaven or the after life, but the kind of life we choose to live when we can face our fears surrounding death, confronting and accepting our mortality.

 I am someone who has personally experienced a lot of death with the loss of a husband at the young age of 27, loosing my mother in 1995, after one year of sobriety, and then ten years later loosing my father and my older brother within two months of one another. In considering what I have lost and what I have gained, I am amazed and so grateful to be able to celebrate on January 2nd, 2013, nineteen years of contented sobriety.

The death of my loved ones has given me an appreciation for life and a wisdom that I would never have otherwise. I learned many hard lessons from death and continue to do so. What I have gleaned from these lessons, I have to share, pay it forward, in hopes of perhaps helping another, the way others have so generously helped me.

I remember many years ago reading, Love and Will by Rollo May. He makes some profound statements that have long resonated with me, about the relationship between Love and Death. This is clarified for me is his quotation from  a letter written by Abraham Maslow, who was recuperating from a heart attack.

" The confrontation with death-and the reprieve from it-makes everything look so precious, so sacred, so beautiful that I feel more strongly than ever the impulse to love it. My river has never looked so beautiful....Death, and its ever present possibility makes love, passionate love, more possible. I wonder if we could love passionately, if ecstasy would be possible at all, if we knew we'd never die."
                                           
"Death is always in the shadow of the delight of love."

He speaks as well of the other side of the death and love relationship.

 " The obsession with sex serves to cover up contemporary man's fear of death."

At one time death was not so much at arms length as it is today in the twenty first century, much to our own detriment.

When I first came to the realization I am somewhat preoccupied with contemplating thoughts about death, especially around this time of year, at Christmas, I didn't really want to admit this to myself. However today, after closely and intently listening and reading what Caitlin Doughty has to say, I can  better embrace my thoughts and feelings about death and mortality. I now understand  and know this is healthy and normal considering what my life experience has been.

Caitlin says, "Many of us have thoughts of death, but we don't see them to the end. We get stuck in the loops, reliving the scary part over and over but never the resolution."

Christmas

I am enjoying my holiday off away from the school deadlines and traveling back and forth to Sackville everyday out on the road hitch hiking. This Christmas is an unexpectedly different one for me, but every Christmas brings particular blessings, little and big miracles and surprises, and for many of us it is a difficult time. It is always  bitter sweet because I always think about those of us that experience the season with a variety of challenges. Especially those who are in need in one way or another.

Many folks rush around, getting their underwear in a knot, stressing about purchasing gifts, aimlessly wondering the malls, going in debt for one day. Christmas is much more than one day. I always leave up some of my decorations throughout the year to remind me of the Spirit of Christmas which I want to remain, every day within my heart. Life is about our relationships with those we love, and with our fellow man. Christmas brings this all into focus.

We all have a choice as to how we celebrate the season and life. I pray to the Creator that I become a better person this Christmas and for the coming year. Because I am a person in recovery the Serenity Prayer is a very important powerful prayer and part of my daily walk in life until I am released from the earthly cord.

Oh My Godfrey!

My mother she had a Ukranian church lady friend she sang in the choir with, she always said, " Oh My Godfrey !" She'd exclaim this when she'd get excited about something or just wanted to emphasis what she was saying. I think about my mum especially this time of year at Christmas. My whole human kind  family I  think of really and our world.

Christmas is often a sad and sorrowful time for many but also a miraculous time as well. The little miracles that happen and the big ones as well are present through out the year and seem to be more poignant during the Christmas season if we look close enough. It's a time of gratitude for me and happiness really for the little things, family and friends and the struggles overcome, not through my own strength but from the strength that comes from within, from the Power greater than myself.


The end of the  university Fall term has come and ended. It really seemed insurmountable to me at points but as I struggled to have faith, I managed to get all my work done and I think completed to a standard that I am satisfied with and can be proud of my effort. I had so many miracles happen in the form of friendship and answered prayer, that helped me along the way and I'd never been able to accomplish what I did if it they hadn't have happened.


So, I am finally exhaling and plan to have a very quiet, peaceful Christmas alone but somehow not lonely because I feel the joy and contentment within my heart , and deep gratitude and communion with The Creator and I feel that connectedness with others.


May your lives be filled with blessings of the Creator.

Christmas Reflections

Christmas is soon approaching. I have no money to shop. I am not giving into the pressure of being the typical Christmas consumer. Not that I have ever done this really, because I have made a conscious decision to avoid certain consuming Christmas traps I'll call them, like going to the Malls, listening to AM radio, or watching TV with all the commercial garbage with the exception of some programs, but presently I have no TV hook-up which was another conscious decision. That said, I can let all the Christmas pressure get me down in the dumps, if I let it, for a myriad of reasons, that I really don't wish to expound upon. Regardless, I can find the Spirit of Christmas if I choose to look hard enough and put some effort into finding it.

As the years go by, at this time of year I will often have memories of feelings of Christmas's past. I don't dwell on them, just glimpse back at the happy times and a few of the sad. All in all it is just one day. But Christmas to me is a spiritual frame of mind that needs to stay with me all year round. I keep little reminders of this up around the house, leaving some favourite ornaments up all year round to help me do this. I think deeply now, about those who have little, who hurt alot and have tragic circumstances to deal with during the season. What has all this to do with creativity I am asking myself? Alot upon reflection. I have to find creative ways to make Christmas more meaningful. Not so much to me directly, but to others around me and a distance away from me. This isn't always the easiest thing to do because there is a tendency to get focused on myself. A case of the poor me 's.
So I have to put my imagination to work and see what I come up with. I hope you can find ways to do this also. I love to know what others do to enable a Christmas in the heart all year round. For me this is what it is all about, not to forget to have Christmas Spirit in my heart, all year round. As my good friend Chris from Nebraska says. Pray for Peace... and I will.

With kind Regards - Catherine