As a young artist, I know I made many choices, particularly when it came to my personal relationships, out of loneliness, as a result of personal familial issues, and internalized culture pressure. The saying, ' when you know better, you do better ' best describes the reasons I did not know myself.
Today, being older, with age comes wisdom, and I understand very well, there is no person, place or thing that can 'make ' me happy. I am the only individual that is responsible for my happiness. I have to say, I found after many hard lessons, but I am certainly not complaining, as this was my path to discovery. My experiences made me the person I am today. I know myself as a creative person, and living a creative life is what truly makes me happy.
Personal relationships, and gender roles are in flux in society. We are redefining marriage, and what it means to be in a committed relationship. I like to think this as being a positive development. Often we get into relationships without knowing ourselves, what we want, or need in life to be happy. Many of us look to people, places, and things to bring us happiness, but this is a bottomless pit that cannot be filled. It leaves us empty, unhappy, unfulfilled, and lonely.
Here is an very insightful, well written article by writer, artist, and scientist Bianca Sparacino, entitled How to Ruin Your Life Without Even Noticing That You Are that makes a world of sense to me.