For me, my relationship with myself, with others, and with the God of my understanding is paramount in my life. That said, it is easy to get distracted and myopic in my perspective at different times in daily life losing touch with the right and wrong of people, places and things. It is having an attitude of living in the future or dwelling on the past and not appreciating or being content in and with the present moment. I have learned the hard way that projection into the future or having regrets from the past is a sure formula for unhappiness and losing your soul. Searching for something outside myself to give me happiness is futile. It makes me think of what Carl Jung refers to as being "Spiritus contra spiritum" . "Attempting to fill a spiritual void with a material reality", is Jung's definition of addiction.
Lately I have been doing research about war in terms of the differences in the attitude and perceptions that men and women have toward it, and how it is likened to addiction, according to what the past NY Times war correspondent, journalist and Pulizer Prize winner, Chris Hedges states in his book,War is a Force That Gives Us Meaning.
The world is full of war and sometimes we often wage it with our conscience, those personal conflicts taking place within our own spirits.
I have in the past found myself on the front lines of some one else's personal battle becoming a victim or the one who has victimized in one way or another. I have taken a few emotional hostages in the past, but that's another story.
This last egg tempera painting, of La Larona-The Weeping Woman is the conclusion of this series I have been painting, based on Clarissa Pinkola's book ,Women Who Run With The Wolves. It was not my intention for this to be the last one and I will probably come back to the series again. However I have reached a juncture in my work where I am questioning what that hell am I doing as an artist. I suspect many creative people wonder this and perhaps are like me in search of deeper meaning and purpose to their work and art practice. I think this is growth. I find myself being pulled and gravitating toward more serious work that explores feminism and global issues. It's much easier said than done and I am feeling a bit adrift right now but I have faith that I will find my way along the stepping stones in my creative path.