Life's Humbling Moments

In 1980, I went to Toronto, to study Mime, Comedia del Arte, which is the basis of street theater, using half mask. It was a two year course, condensed into one year. There were only nine students. We spent four hours a day, practicing and performing acrobatics, juggling, improvisation, yoga, and doing mime.
It could be a very grueling routine, not so much because of the physical demands, but due to our teacher. He had a rather autocratic and tyrannical personality. In retrospect now, he put me in mind of the Soup Nazi, on Seinfeld . He was the Mime Nazi.
Fortunately, this was balanced somewhat, with the humor, and kindness of our teacher's great assistant, who would often lighten and defuse the mood.
One occasion arose in class, the day we learned an acrobatic trip trick. The technique was to simply hook one foot behind the opposite leg, while walking forward, which gave the illusion of tripping.

My turn had come to demonstrate my mastery over the skill, while the rest of my eight classmates watched in silence, being careful not to disturb my concentration. This was the usual routine in class for all of us.
This acrobatic trick was straight forward, I thought. I did not anticipate any problem.
When you are in such close physical proximity with people, everyday, doing these kinds of activities, certain expected, or unexpected factors, come into play.
I proceeded to carry out the exercise, walking ahead, hooking my left foot around my right. My perfected technique was a flawless execution. Consecutively, it had been punctuated with the impeccable timing, of one of those completely unexpected factors, a noise...flatulence...commonly and by some, affectionately, known as as fart.
I could not believe I had done this in front of a room of strangers, who I barely knew,and whom I wasn't going to be able to avoid seeing in the near future, every day.
The whole class broke out into uproarious hysterical laughter, especially after the assistant teacher loudly commented, that I, was now going to demonstrate how to trip and spontaneously fart at the same time.

I swallowed my pride and sucked up a heaping helping of humility and just started laughing. After all, this is why I was there, to learn how to be a fool.

Along with many lessons during my life, I have learned these three very important things, that I try to apply to my daily walk.

1. Always have a good sense of humor, develop and practice it as a lifestyle.
2. Understand and practice humility.
3. Love and accept your own humanity, in turn being compassionate toward others.

These things may not be important to anyone else, but me. They continue to help me to be happy in life.

I once read in a life changing book, The Spirituality of Imperfection, this life changing bit of powerful information.

The common root word in humor, humility, and humanity is humus, which means worm poo...yes worm shit. It was said, by the writer of the book, that these three were essential to living life fully alive.
I have come to believe this as being a great truth. It has helped me immeasurably and continues to do so.

I am reminded as well, of what a dear friend once said to me. " Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things". If I do this, it helps me to remind myself to have humor, acceptance of people places and things, especially acceptance of myself and to remember, I am a human being, not perfect and can't expect others to be either.

Growing Up

I have sweet memories of growing up in Toronto, and in other parts of Ontario. I have troubled ones too. It was an adventure much of the time lots to explore I seemed fearless then. Jumping off box cars, roaming' the neighborhood. Lots of friends from different cultures. We rented a house from an Italian family in Toronto. We had plums and peaches out back and crickets would climb up the kitchen sink in the morning's because they'd had made wine in the basement, that's why they were there. That's what I was told. Too many bees, too many crickets. I hate bugs.

My very best friend was Josie Stevens, about 13 kids in the family. I thought I wanted her brother as my boyfriend when I was about 6 or 7, but I just wanted him to buy me the 3 cent ring at the corner store. I loved that cheap jewelry, still do. I'm like a crow that loves shiny things.

My brother got sick with MS there. He was 16 I was 6. Life was full of hospital then.

I was born in small town Nova Scotia, full of characters and history. Two sides of the tracks there. Rich, poor, black and white. We were white lower middle class. Father moved the family to T.O when I was six months old. He had been a cop. Got fired for drinking on the job. So he took the geographical cure down the road, I suppose. We'd do the usual trek to Nova Scotia every summer. Dad would drive continuous; mum would feed us copious amounts of sandwiches peanut butter and jam, bologna, and sandwich spread. God I got sick of them! Dad would always get lost going through Quebec, try to get directions from a cop, who would refuse to speak English, which would send dad into a rage, he'd curse, swear calling them names I won't repeat. .

Summer's were comfort to me cool and hot days spent at the shore living in the ocean. We'd stay at my aunt and uncle's cottage sometimes, more sandwiches! My aunt she never was one to make anything real good to eat, but she sure did love to eat. Like all Maritimers.

My father's brother and wife they had a store. I loved visiting them. Uncle Ed would give me lots of candy.

My grandmother's house, was always the same, everything in it's place always the same. Every morning she'd ask the same thing, "what are you going to have this morning, an egg?"

Grand dad had a swing he'd made for me in his garage that had that smell old wooden garages have. I love that smell. I would spend hours on that swing watching the bugs and bees. When I was in the house, I'd get all my grandmother's nic nacs down and play with them by the hour.I spent a lot of time alone, amusing myself, using my imagination. I guess I'm still doing that.

Poor grand dad he was deaf as a nit. He'd never put his hearing aid in. I quickly figured out why, my grandmother nagged him constant.

She caught him one day giving home brew to the mailman out the basement window. She flew into the mailman with a broom. Grand dad never did that again. At least if he did, granny never knew. She had quite the temper. Granny was brought up a die hard Baptist, her father was a tyrant and everything was evil, even school. Thank God grand dad had a love of learning, though he wasn't educated. He had two sisters that were teachers. Both my grandparents on my mother's side were from English and Scottish families. Farmer's, hard working people, very musical. Grand dad's people had a love and thirst for knowledge and learning. They were a kind, egalitarian, Christian family.

Never knew much about dad's family. The men were hard workers, miners, fighters, drinkers, from the old country. I met the matriarch of our family in Minto New Brunswick, my great aunt. She spoke seven languages and was Cheqoslovakian. She was a character, she would translate for the coal company and the miners, who spoke no English. I met her when she was 92. She lived in a little house with her animals that she loved. I remember going through Minto on our way to Nova Scotia in the summers and thinking, is that where my family lived? Then, there were tar paper shacks, literally. It was a depressing looking place. I was sure grateful to meet my great aunt. She told me about my father's grandfather and grandmother. Great grandfather was from Danzig (Gdansk) and my great grandmother was from Auchan. She was very good with her hands doing very fine handy work.

I would love to visit these places some day. It's important to know our roots and about our family I believe, as it helps us to understand who we are and why, even the stuff we'd rather not know about, even some of the relatives we'd rather not know we are related to.

Making A Soul Bargin

The following quotation is from the book , The Path To Love, Spiritual Strategies for Healing, by Deepak Chopra.

I promised in my previous blog to explain just what I meant when I referred to, " Soul Bargain , " and how this has helped me to actualize some of my hopes and dreams. If you try this you may be very surprised how it might help you as well.

" Healing the split between love and spirit is the goal of this book, and periodically I will give practical suggestions to that end. Usually these " loving practices" are directed to the reader, but I recommend, were possible, that you and your beloved both try them.

The first loving practice addresses doubts you may have about whether a "higher" love has any kind of accessible reality. To someone who has never fallen in love, you cannot prove that the experience exists. There is no power in words to evoke passionate romantic love, just as the fragrance of a rose is meaningless however beautifully you describe it. How much more alien, then, is the love promised by union with spirit? Look at the following list of things that love is supposed to accomplish, expanded from the list that appeared earlier in the text:

Love is meant to heal
Love is meant to renew.
Love is meant to make us safe.
Love is meant to inspire us with its power.
Love is meant to make us certain, without doubt.
Love is meant to oust all fear.
Love is meant to unveil immortality.
Love is meant to bring peace.
Love is meant to harmonize differences.
Love is meant bring us closer to God.

Even if this list strikes you as unrealistic, or wildly overblown, I want you to make a bargain with love-a soul bargain-that any or all of these things will come true for you.

Take a piece of paper and write down what you want from love. If it is a real force, if it is attuned to who you are, love will respond. Make your list as complete and specific as you can. I suggest writing down every entry from the preceding list and beside it just what you want. For example:

Love is meant to heal.

I want to heal my anger toward my father. I want to heal the love I couldn't give to my children when they needed it. I want to heal my hurt over losing my friend X.

Love is meant to renew.

I want to feel renewed enthusiasm for my work. I want to renew the sexual feelings I have for my wife. I want to renew my sense of being young.

Love is meant to make us safe.

I want to feel safer with other people. I want to feel safe when I go outdoors for morning run. I want to feel safe from having X reject me if I tell him I love him.

Love is meant to inspire us with its power.

I want my love to be powerful. I want to use all my own power with love. I want to express love when I feel it and not give in to lower emotions like fear and anger.


Once you are satisfied that you have detailed everything you want-and don't feel afraid to ask too much-the bargain is complete. Put the piece of paper away in a safe place. You have announced to your soul what you want, and it is up to love to respond. Love is intelligent and aware; it knows you better that you know yourself. Therefore it has the power to fulfill its side of the bargain. Rest easy and be attentive over the next few months. Don't dwell on your list or try to make it come true. there is nothing you need to do except this:

When you feel love, act on it. Speak your heart. Be truthful. Remain open.

This is how you align yourself with love. At the end of a few months, take out your list and read it over. Ask yourself how much has come true. I won't say that you will be amazed at what love has actually done-although many people are-but you will certainly be surprised. Actually asking for love is one of the most difficult things for anyone to risk, and by risking it first in your hearty, you open a door that will never close again. "

Deepak Chopra - The Path To Love

It's Official! The Best May Day Ever!

Today I received official word through a letter in the mail, that I have been accepted into the Fine Art Department at Mount Allison University!

I already knew I had been accepted but hadn't actually received my confirmation through letter. I had been called May 14th and was told. I also knew I had been accepted into the BA program sometime ago, and had been sent a letter by mail. I was very emotional that day. I didn't react emotionally when I got the phone call informing I was accepted into the Fine Art Department.

There is something about receiving in an official letter that has a profound effect on me. Today I had another cry and I felt overwhelmed and thought of my mother and wished she was here to share in my joy.

There are many reasons I expect, that I have found myself at almost 56 years of age, returning to finish my BFA degree. It has been something that has weighed on my heart for many years. Mainly I contribute my return to University with the, " Soul Bargin, " I made months back. This I learned about in Deepak Chopra's book, The Path To Love; one of those life changing reads.

I'd promised to write about this in my blog in the recent past entries but it wasn't the right time. Now is the time. However, I am absolutely physically spent tonight after working outside all day in the yard so I will leave this til another entry this week. I promise!

Namaste

Dancing With The Paws

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAYfzRmjX20 Here's some creative canine dance.

Mother

Elder's Meditation of the Day
"The honor of the people lies in the moccasin tracks of the woman. Walk the good road.... Be dutiful, respectful, gentle and modest my daughter... Be strong with the warm, strong heart of the earth. No people goes down until their women are weak and dishonored, or dead upon the ground. Be strong and sing the strength of the Great Powers within you, all around you."
--Village Wise Man, SIOUX
The Elders say the Native American women will lead the healing among the tribes. We need to especially pray for our women, and ask the Creator to bless them and give them strength. Inside them are the powers of love and strength given by the Moon and the Earth. When everyone else gives up, it is the women who sings the songs of strength. She is the backbone of the people. So, to our women we say, sing your songs of strength; pray for your special powers; keep our people strong; be respectful, gentle and modest.

Oh, Great One, bless our women. Make them strong today.

http://www.whitebison.org

Dreams and Reality

Today I am thinking about dreams and reality. I am of the opinion that these two can be defined by a thin line. They are of course closely related and I think dependent on one another in that one affects the other.

During introspective periods, I find myself asking, can I achieve this dream or make it reality or is that a pipe dream. I have to ask is this a positive or negative and how will it affect my life. Am I willing and prepared for the outcome and consequences, of the choices I make that will affect my reality and dreams.

I have learned that it is essential to have dreams to pursue and working toward making them reality contributes to personal happiness and is fundamental to a successful life. As well believing in yourself and your capacities is necessary to take on challenges, obstacles and disappointments that are sure to cross your path along the way. I am an idealist but as I get older I need to feel my feet in reality regardless if I like it or not.

Many elements are involved in fulfilling dreams and hopes. Hard work, commitment, finding and following passions. Sometimes later in life we can come to the realization we have lost touch with what we are passionate about for a myriad of reasons. The good news is we can change this, we have a choice.

I have also learned that perhaps we are unable to achieve our dreams in spite of doing all that we can in order to actualize them. Perhaps we can find that the journey is the important part and when we come to the end, we find a deep satisfaction with what we have been left with, something different, but just as fulfilling, as what the original goal would be.

Today while listening to the radio, I heard a 72 year old woman from PEI that was graduating today, from University, with her BA in English. She was fulfilling a sixty year goal. What an inspiration she was to me. This example speaks loudly and clearly. It truly is never to late to live life passionately, to the fullest and to follow your dreams.